J.R. Blackwell

Hearts Blood isn’t about reality. It isn’t about murder or death or blood. It’s about how you feel when someone you care deeply about doesn’t want you anymore. It’s about why we describe the feeling of being rejected as a broken heart.

It isn’t about dying at all. It’s about how we feel when we’re alive.

Thirds - Trapped between water and sky this character is a vertical line on a landscape that’s all horizontal. In my opinion, it’s the best composition I have ever done.

Jared says that one of the wonderful things of living with a photographer is that you get someone who can take cool photos of all of your costumes.

I think that one of the wonderful things about living with a costumer is that you get to take photos of all of the cool costumes.

Every now and then, Jared descends, like a wild inventor, into the basement with some foam, leather, a glue gun, a length of metal wire, plastic bottles of who knows what, and his dreams and comes out with, well, usually a ray-gun, but sometimes battle armor, shields, masks, capes, helmets, swords, etc. Basically, he’ll decent into the basement and come back out with something amazing.

Jared helps me to create the visions I see in my head, and I’m lucky enough to show the world what he’s making.

A world filled with snow is like sticking your models in the middle of a lightbox - light reflecting from all sides, bright and beautiful.

A snowstorm, one of the biggest in years, slams down in Philadelphia, closing schools and workplaces, bringing silence. I walk the two blocks over to my friend Holly’s house and she puts on her prom dress. Then we go outside and take photos for a half hour.

While we are taking photos, Kyle Cassidy, famous and fabulous photographer happens to walk by, and sees us taking photographs. Why? Because he is out taking photos himself. Photographers love snowstorms, lightboxes brought to earth.

Let’s go ahead and blame this all on P.C. Haring, shall we?

P.C. Haring is the writer behind the podcast Cybrosis. Almost a year ago, PC comissioned me to make a cover for Cybrosis. I really enjoy doing book covers. For me, creating book covers is an artistic collaboration between the author and I.

We went though a lot of options to get the final product, which is fantastic, because out of all that, I got this image. No, this image isn’t what landed on the cover but it is my favorite from the shoot.That may seem strange, but the fact is, this image is magic, and the book was a lot more scifi- adventure. The final image we chose was totally sci-fi adventure-thriller-tastic.

In this image, the model - Rae Winters - looks like she is controlling the wind, bringing on the storm. The wind was hitting just right, the clouds in the background, Rae’s expression, her hair lifted, her stance wide - it’s magic.

Sometimes, in the persuit of something else, I stumble on something unexpected and wonderful. I feel that part of being an artist is being open to these moments. Moments when you are looking for science and finding magic.

If you want to solve your writers block, write a novel.

When finishing my first novel, I had the most creatively inspiring period of my life - ideas for short stories, other novels, images, all ran around wild and naked in my brain. It was fantastic. Also, very hard to focus on completing my novel, but still.

And in the midst of all that was a character called Dr. Mercury, a supervillian of the highest callibur. She ran amok in my brain with story ideas and little flash fictions, throwing all kinds of creative switches. I really, really wanted to stop writing my novel and start writing all about her.But I perservered and finished the first draft, and now, I’m 15k into writing a novel about her.

One way I used to keep her at bay was to take lots of photos of her. This gave her an outlet without actually putting aside my first novel. I was able to show who she was and, for a while, quiet her down.

Now that I’m writing this I realize that she was my nemesis for a while, threatening to take my attention away from my greater goal and point it towards her. For a while, she was my supervillian, my very own personal nemesis. And, like all of the best enemies, she was really me, in disguise.

It is my hope that someday, I’ll get to share her story with you.

I’ll Die When I’m Done is a portrait of novelist Tee Morris. The title is taken from the song “Crazy”.

My heroes had the heart
To lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember
Is thinking, I want to be like them

Ever since I was little
Ever since I was little
It looked like fun
And it’s no coincidence I’ve come
And I can die when I’m done

This title reminded me of Tee because of his persitance in following his dream. It’s something I identify with strongly. I have been following my own dreams for years, and I suspect that no matter how much success I have, or don’t have, in following my dreams, I will not stop on this journey, not until I’m dead. I’ll die when I’m done. Or, rather, I’ll only be done with my dreams when I die.

When people see Tee, I suspect they see him as  a kind, friendly soul, always ready to lend a helping hand. And that’s true. But there is another side too, the side that is determined, tenacious and utterly serious. He’s not going to let go, not for anyone or anything. He’ll die when he’s done.

I wanted people to see that. To see this side of Tee that isn’t obvious but is completely true.

This image is all about the curves, the curve of hair, the curve of breast, the curve of the inner corner of the mouth, where bright light seems to touch, and that last, small, soft curve of blood on the blade.

The woman below me is Jennifer Rodgers. She danced at my wedding.

Daniel and I have been taking photos together since 2004. Since that time, I’ve grown as a photographer, come to understand my own style, gained experience, learned more about my equipment and learned about myself as an artist. Though all that, Daniel has been patient and kind, working with me as I experimented and failed and tried again.

We have gotten to the point where we seldom need to talk much anymore during a shoot. He adjusts perfectly, I move my fingers and he changes position. I didn’t really notice until his wife was shooting with us, and she noticed our weird photographer-model telepathy.

After I took this photo, I couldn’t believe that I took it. Is anyone’s skin so perfect? I kept staring at it thinking that people would never believe that I didn’t touch it in photoshop. Daniel looks like an angel, impossibly beautiful. And me? I’m there too, hovering over the angel, taking a picture.

Carry You is a photo out of a series called Blood and Sand which I took days before my wedding. What you are seeing here, then, in these pictures, is my closest friends.

This bears out for most of my photos. I photograph the people I care about. In this photo, we have two illustrators, Steve Walker and Natalie Kelly. Though I asked Steve to pick up Natalie and put her over his shoulder, I have to admit that the elegance of this composition belongs entirely to Steve and Natalie. Notice his wide stance, as if caught in movement, the curve of her body over his, the her elbow meeting the top of his arm, a smooth flow from one person to another. His face, half in blood, half hidden, determined, moving forward.

You know, from his expression, that he is going to fall. He’s carrying too much, he’s too hurt. But he’s moving forward, still, because he has to. He cannot give up, not ever, not until he falls. He’s going to carry her until he’s dead, which might be soon, very soon.

My friends are my inspiration, but more than that, they help me achieve what I see in my head, and half the time, they take it further than I even imagined.

One of the biggest compliments I get is when someone tells me that I look nothing like my self-portraits.

This always makes me happy because I work quite hard to make myself look different in my photos. The makeup takes hours. The set up of light and the camera takes time. The costumes take time. I hope, that at the end of that time, what you see first is the character that I created. So thank you, to everyone who didn’t recognize me. You all made my day.

Cry No More is also from my 365 Days project.

It’s Portfolio week! This week I’ll be posting the 12 images that I feel, right now, best tell the story of who I am as a photographer.

This first image is called Teiresias, and it’s from my 365 Days project. The title, Teiresias, is taken from a character I played in middle school. The play, Antigone, is all about murder and suicide and terrible guilt. I think it should say something about my middle school that this was the play they chose to tackle with their pre-teen set.

Teiresias is a blind seer, famous for delivering the words from the gods.  Seers are the vehicle for a message, and thus I think it is appropriate for a photo in which the body is invisible.

Perhaps it’s also my philosophy of photography that draws me to this image. I’m not about showing a subjects true nature, I’m about creating characters. I don’t care if you understand me, I don’t care if you recognize me. What I care about is creating interesting characters, vignettes, stories.

I want the image to speak to you. It doesn’t have to tell the truth.